Happiness is what we are all after!
All the things we do for a drop of happiness!
Looking for the work that we love, hiking the mountains of Bavaria, eating chocolates, marrying the man we love, coming to the Prostmasters meeting to hear Craigs’s muah, WUNDEBA
These might all make us happy, but what creates the happiness that lasts?
The answer, my friends, is being of service, helping others.
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How can we help others?
By giving.
We give what we have. We give money. We give knowledge. We give a ffff
Fish.
If we are fisherman. We give our fellow man fish for help.
That would feed them for a day.
What would be a better help?
Teach them how to fish.
Right?
Wrong!
The person is a vegetarian! They don’t eat fish! (Unrelated info: The vegetarians that eat fish call themselves pescaterian)
But they weren’t even hungry.
They came to us to ask where is the closest bathroom! We didn’t even listen. We didn’t even ask. We didn’t even see. They asked us Can you help and we gave them the fish!
Is this absurd?
Well my friends this is happening all the time!
We are giving our fish to people who don’t need it, who don’t want it.
We give our ideas and suggestions without checking in if that is needed, without checking if will actually serve the person we want to help.
What is an alternative?
What is a better way to be of help?
It is coaching my friends.
Do you know what coaching is? It is not Tony Robbinsing! being on stage making talks, it is not shouting what to do from the sidelines!
Coaching is – according to the definition of International Coach Federation – partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.
Coach is a partner and her job is to co-create the process so that the person getting coaching will be inspired and will maximise their potential.
International Coach Federation defines the behaviours that a coach displays to be the best partner which they call as Core Coaching Competencies. There are 8 of those but 2 will already bring you forward if you start implementing in your life.
Number 6 Listens Actively
When you listen you can listen with the intention of understanding what they want to communicate and also check back by if what you understand is true. Listen not only words, but also the body language and the emotions to have a deeper understanding.
Number 7 The coach Evokes Awareness
The people that come to you for help are capable to find their own solutions that will work for their own preferences that only they know if they can think thoroughly and differently.
I don’t know about you but my mind can speak a ton. And I find myself bringing the old ways of thinking (and a lot of complaining). You can help me think through by asking me questions, supporting me to continue to think more and in different ways. “What is on your mind?”, “What is the real challenge here for you?”, “What do you want?”, “What have you already thought of?” . “What else can you do?” What else? What else? What else?
You can help a person gain awareness of not only new solutions but their own resourcefulness.
And only – only if they ask your help – you can ask them how they want you to help.
Next time when you want to help someone hold your fish – your suggestions until it is actively asked of you. First, listen actively and ask questions to help them think deeply.
With that, you will be helping others to find solutions that work for them, which will make them happy, which will in turn make you happy.
Hold your fish and start coaching